Ruang Katarsis

bersama kalam-kalam kelam yang menyulam hati yang kelimpungan dalam riuh, kegaduhan, dan girang-girang yang melemahkan pelihara-pelihara, apakah kita peliharaan? dunia penuh anjing-anjing, apa benar kita ini anjing yang menggonggong sebab perut keriput dan rongga kosong menunggu daging dilempar dan kita akhirnya bungkam lalu menggonggong lagi esok paginya pada tuan yang sama yang mengelus leher kita sambil pijit-pijit agar tidak digigit jika tidak ada daging di piring apa yang akan kita makan sang tuan atau anjing-anjing tuan makanlah hasil buruan dari terburu yang memburu kalungku ini hanya ilusi tapi terikat menembus kulit hingga menyatu dengan nadi kalau kau tarik aku yang mati

i sweat, girl, i sweat. the night sky is not pitch black, they are blue. and i felt something exploded in my nothingness. i swear, girl, i swear. i saw a paladin riding his white horse on the moon's face. and i don't know how to explain what does not exist. but it feels real, it feels real . i am most awake when i dream.

It's a pitch black sky without stars. You are just an empty house without any properties to offer. You swear it's cold in the middle of summer and everyone says the sunlight stings their skin. But you zipped up your jacket because your hands always freeze. The sunlight never reaches you, but flame never feels enough until it burns you into ashes. The world has always been blurry and your senses are dead. You could not hear any noises or see anything. And the headache feels like someone keeps trying to break your skull from inside to stop you from remembering. Words seem like a broken signal to you as if it's your first time talking. You forget how to feel, like you forget how to eat. You are just incapable. Because you're a terribly ruined person through and through. One night you are stuck in the corner of your mind, wondering a way to escape from this unknown room but how the heck are you trapped here for years. And it's locked. You try to remember good things but...