1.My Very First Post

Hallooo! Ini post pertama aku nih.

Niatnya mau bikin blog ini sih bukan apa-apa. Cuma mau menyalurkan waktu kosong aku ke yang lebih berguna. Jadi, ini nih sebenernya salah satu usaha aku supaya bisa jadi penulis hebat. Cita-cita aku banget, deh. Haha…

Penulis itu aku rasa nih ya bisa memotivasi banyak orang melalui tulisan. Aku lebih milih nulis bukan karena apa-apa, tapi ada apa-apa. Aku suka nervous tuh kalo disuruh ke depan. Nggak sering-sering banget sih deg degannya. Tapi ya buat jaga-jaga aja.

Semoga blog ini bermanfaat untuk kalian kalian yang mungkin sama bosennya kayak aku. Jangan bosen-bosen buat visit blog ini.

Konnichiwa! :D Sayonara!

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< animus >

Tonight, I’d be fine I could sleep In the midst of chaos I’d move backwards everytime my guilt decapitated my essence Tonight, I found somebody's reflection on a broken mirror And it was a boy He was made from my desperate prayers in every crowds Sometimes I saw him with his innocent smile Sparkling eyes and curly hair Clean uniforms and black loafers His voice was kind He looked alive, and perfect Unlike the world I was ragged I wish I was you I'd have been beautiful Tonight, I'd fight with my dirty nails and sharpened wooden stick You’d fight with soft words that kill minds I drank their blood You danced with their corpses But we both lost the war, despite our childhood secret dreams We knew we’d do Maybe I should hold your hand from the start Before I brought you your death, and you brought mine But it’s fine Cause the longing is finally ending The longing is finally ending. ~•~ / Why I Only Face You Now When I've Known You Since F...

letter for blue

recently i have forgotten your birthday. i still remember your voice and the way you talk. i've made peace with my feelings. but sometimes you appeared in my dreams as both fantasy and nightmare. you're something i wish i could erase. yet here i am clinging onto the smallest thing like your smile that would never be intended to me. memories are deceitful, and i hope so. i hope it's my memories that betray me, that i am actually just a sick person and you're nothing but a halucination. so i could drink the medicine and be okay. perhaps it is not about you, perhaps you've unfortunately became a proof of something more tragic than pure. a door for the darkness that has existed in me since a long time ago. it is pathetic how i froze whenever i saw a glimpse of your fractions in a crowd or when a stranger has your name, eventhough i knew it was not the real you. i have always known that loneliness takes half of my being. as if i am not 'me' if i do not have them...

letter from consciousness

Saving you is a way to save myself. There were times when I was frightened with being empty. Empty means I have no solid core. I imagine myself functioning like a sponge, in which is capable of absorbing all those residues that left by other people. Sponge only has meaning when it is capable of permeating. Therefore, I become anxious when it's empty. I'll urgently pull things as fillers, whether they make sense or not. I become obsessed with it for awhile. Walking on this heavily congested earth like a wanderer searching for purpose. I am searching for something like sorrow, so I am able to breaking it down into small particles I could hold with my palms. Maybe it explains my attachment with everything that is complicated and ruined. Somehow, it almost looks like a wonderful illness that makes you sick with excitement. As if I am a sage without any heroes to guide. I write their stories in a journal exhibited in my consciousness, drafting them down until they become a pattern ...

Ruang Katarsis

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